Uncertain Clarity

What’s the point in meeting someone

Who isn’t interested

Or is reluctant

To sit beside or talk over a meal

And yet, the mind is industrious

that never stops weaving

Possibilities and promises

Like a marketing guy

Who knows how to pitch

And knows how to hit

When the iron is hot

It has made me go to a station

Even when I knew that the train has left

It makes me knock the doors

Even when I see big locks in front

but I obey his orders

quite often I do

Because It makes me believe

There might be an ember in the ashes

And to honor the present moment

To deny the worries of tomorrow

I stay faithful to the uncertain clarity

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Accept the reality

Imagine that you have to speak in front of people, buy something important, decide a matter related to life or business, in such situations sometimes we worry too much or think too much and too far then we should. It will be better if we do our best and do not over expect about the outcomes. Thinking and wondering about the results and future puts us in an uncomfortable state if the thoughts are not based on the facts and figures. We should evaluate and consider the tangible facts and calculate the outcomes however we must keep a check on the baseless doubts and speculations.

Things happen – we can’t control every thing how hard we may try but life gets easier if we accept uncertainty as a “constant” in every equation of life. Even though I know and admit that it is easier said than done – if you start trying you can get better at managing your life.

Ah and for those who are lucky to not meddle with the affairs of physics and chemistry as a student, although I strongly believe that everyone should study a little bit about these subjects to get a better understanding of things around us, a “constant” is an entity which everyone has to accept to balance an equation or in other words, without accepting a “constant” like “Pi” the famous 22/7, and “G” the gravitational constant, and “K” the spring constant some very important matters cannot be concluded. Likewise in the matters of life, accepting “uncertainty” as a constant simplifies it multifold.

I recently realized that we should not limit the popular saying “nothing lasts forever” to a cup of ice-cream or a rainbow as it also applies very precisely to various aspects of our life. Our childhood, the time that we spend with our friends and family, beauty and so many other things end somewhere – change is inevitable and if we are prepared for these changes, we can deal with the ups and downs in a better way.

By seeing our life divided into various phases and parts we can prepare ourselves in advance about the possible changes related to particular parts in the future to minimize the surprise factor or to prepare ourselves to deal with the upcoming situations. If I do sports for 4 to 5 hours in a day, I should know that maybe after some years I will only be able to play for 2 hours or even less than that someday. If I work, it is possible that after some years I won’t be able to continue working. These harsh realities and many more riddles of life that can be more distressing and uncomfortable to talk about should be brought into consideration before they surprise us.

This approach of accepting reality in advance can make the transitions through different phases of life less painful and lead us to a peaceful end. Although many of us these days live like they are gonna live forever. Isn’t that so?

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Shakarparay

I’ll go down the memory lane and share two memories with you. While writing this post I’ll relive those moments and you will probably reconsider the fact that we live in an eventful world and one life is too short to experience everything. That’s why we tell stories and that’s why we read 🙂

In a small village an elderly man lives in a small house. Every afternoon he makes around 20 Kilograms of “Shakarparay” (It’s name of a sweet) and opens a door of a room in his house that opens into the street. There isn’t any board, nameplate or wall-chalking to attract people. When he opens the door, smell of the fresh sweet fills the streets of the village and everyone knows what to do. Like roses and jasmines attract honey bees, this smell attracts people towards this opened door. I passed through that village one afternoon and was lucky to stop and buy warm and fresh “Shakarparay”. Unfortunately I don’t remember the face of the person who makes the sweet as it was a bit dark inside that small room from where I bought the sweet however the smell, taste and that small street is still fresh in my mind.

It was a cold morning – I was traveling on an old bus that was cruising through small localities. It stopped every now and then because either someone wanted to get off or board it. It was an annoyance but I was also observing the people as well as enjoying the fields and houses on the sides of the road that were flying past my eyes so I wasn’t that annoyed 🙂 Eventually it crossed a long bridge on a river and the driver parked it in an open area beside the road. People started getting off the bus, I had no idea what’s going on as I wasn’t expecting this stop at all. Probably it was well understood by the people who traveled through that bus that it stops after crossing the bridge for a while. Anyways I came down to be welcomed by the cold winter morning – my hands quickly went in the pockets of my jeans and my chin started exploring the possibilities of hiding itself in my sweater but to no avail. The river was covered by a thick sheet of mist and far in the east the sun was about to rise. The warmth of the first rays of the sun that rose there after a few minutes, are a source of warmth and joy for my heart till this day.

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Present

Time flies – it certainly does. Our environment, our lives as well as the lives of people around us keep reminding us that the wheels are rolling. As it is on the move – it is being spent – It signifies the importance of every single moment – specially the present moment. Although there is so much to see and do in this world – our life spans can never be enough to taste all that has been served on the table therefore we should learn to be thankful for all that is being presented to us and appreciate what is on our plate.

To be able to enjoy what we are capable of enjoying, we need to show some courage against the odds. Think of a child who wakes up on a winter morning and clumsily drags himself out of his bed to go out in the sunlight – after hours of sleep in the long winter night his eyes will not be ready to face the sun at first – however, as few seconds will pass he won’t squint anymore as now he’ll be able to keep his eyes wide open and see what’s happening around him. Just like that when we face a sudden transition or a challenge in our life we become a squinting kid – at that time we must persevere, and if we do so – we’ll become eligible for the “present”.

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Sooner or later

In the darkest nights

In the times of despair

gather yourself to look up

the stars will be shining upon you

and if you can’t see them

don’t lose hope

as sooner or later

the clouds will give way to the moon

and it will smile for you

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Who? You. Me? Yes.

As we grow, we face different kinds of situations, incidents and experiences that shape our personality. Our course of life develops us into an individual with a unique story and that’s why each and every one of us is a very special presence on the earth.

At any moment in your life, keep believing in yourself because your thoughts combined with actions mold your future. You have to be the best version of yourself and in this pursuit never let go of your true self for the sake of perfection. As mostly when we want to be perfect, we actually wish to be like someone who seems perfect to us. A better approach would be to see the achievements of others as the fruits of good self control and critical self analysis. They crafted their story, appreciate them for that and don’t forget that you have to create your own.

One day, you may shine brighter than the diamond that used to mesmerize you.

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Something’s wrong with the world mama

Our minds are always full of questions – some of them accompanied by vivid answers, some with a couple of possible answers and an unending chain of unanswered ones for those who think and observe a lot. In the quest of enlightenment and inner peace i also keep looking for the answers around me with a hope that one day i’ll either find all the answers or i’ll happily let go of the questions to get rid of my restlessness before my conscious flies out of the cage of my body.

During past few months i lived in a new environment, adjusted myself to a new culture and observed the ways of life in an unfamiliar place – interestingly i found out that human instincts are the same where ever you may go. The conditions and particular situations do change the moods and way of our dealings however inside the covers humans are very much similar. Sometimes they are kind, sometimes they are happy, sad, jealous or angry and at times they are not good to each other. Sometimes they expect a lot from others without understanding that they are also obliged to return the favors but we can’t ignore the fact that our environment and our upbringing plays a huge role in the way we act and react throughout our life. We can’t blame anyone – all we can do is to understand our good and bad sides and keep working on making ourselves a valuable member of society.

As recently I have traveled to new places so i got the chance to meet a lot of people – made new friends, got  new inspirations and learned new things. I have also lived alone, learned life lessons and tasted the sweetness and bitterness of loneliness. Sadly the world is becoming more materialistic day by day – people are ignoring their loved ones and family members in the name of self love and trying to blindly follow the hypes created by social media without paying attention to the consequences.

I have seen couples eating together in silence and eyes glued to their phones – i have seen mothers ignoring their kids as their source of happiness is a bright screen which keeps setting new goals and desires for them which eventually result in depression when the mind gets loaded with heaps of wishes without any clue how one may change those dreams into reality.

Some of us just want to wear a celebrity’s life as if it is a piece of garment but we don’t check whether that famous person is truly happy in living that life or not – we buy what we see. I wish that all of us may realize the importance of our own life and our style and contribute towards the society in what ever way we can – the past is past, we must live in the present moment and use our energies to live it to the fullest. Another important thing is to understand that we don’t have to fly to multiple countries and take our pictures at five stars and popular tourist destinations to show that we are living an amazing life – we don’t have to make anyone jealous of our possessions – we must remember that our actions should not spread negative feelings – there are many positive ways of making ourselves happy and as soon as we may understand this the better. My observations can be wrong, my words can’t be final but my intention to educate people that life isn’t that difficult as we make it for ourselves is pure and i keep spreading it to the attentive ears around me. These days i mostly read verses of Persian poetry and few excerpts from “West with the night” along with occasional glance on a Reddit page on “Stoicism” and write for some of my clients who need either technical or travel articles however today when i came back to my room after playing badminton i sat down in front of my laptop after shower and wrote this blog post to spread the words of love, peace and humanity on the cyberspace which is rather bubbling with words written for search engines and probably my words will also be read by search engines more often than the real people – but still i have to play my part – i have to justify my present moment 🙂

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Impulsive Sin

On a mid-February afternoon

I sat beside the Bangpakong

as it flowed in style

like a model on the ramp

The breeze was nice and cool

But towards which direction the river flowed?

That was hard to tell

I was trying to figure that out

While my eyes caught a yellow flower

that wind brought near my feet

It was dry but still bright

With its cheek on the warm concrete

i looked up towards the sky

The moon was there

dull yet visible

Like a half bitten cookie

Yet beautiful

And then the wind got rebellious

As it caressed my face and ruffled my hair

I didn’t mind that excesses though

But with the next swirl

It tore apart that little yellow flower

And blew its petals in the air

Hither thither

A beauty reduced to pieces

And bright yellow dust

It made me sad – not only for the flower

and I knew I can’t but I wished I could ask the wind

What did you do to the flower?

Why did you do that to the flower?

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Babysit yourself

Sometimes you come to bed physically and emotionally bruised. Your muscles ache from the exercise and your heart is kind of numb to expect anything from anyone. That’s the time when you have no doubts – you clearly see that every one is busy in their own life. Your friends, relatives and colleagues only share a certain part of your life and for the rest of the time you have to babysit yourself. You have to take the responsibility to make yourself happy because others are busy in doing the same for themselves. Just remember that your attempt to create happiness should not be a trouble for anyone else. I might be wrong or i might have had bad experiences but that’s what i believe before closing my eyes to sleep tonight.

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Void

The void is there

eyes haven’t seen it

yet i can feel it

senses have fathomed it

and it has to exist

it can’t be filled

as the mortals have pushed their souls

back to the wall

and now their emotions

are not their’s anymore

they follow what they are fed by the feeds

and they only feel touched

when they are given teddy bears

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